Journal #7 – 4/5/2024

So I think I’ve been trying to figure out what is going to be the first thing that I do when I get home for sometime now. Past few days I began with cleaning; but I think making a word document for that day’s journal should be the first and the foremost thing before anything.

For an instance, because I didn’t have this word document generated before watching this guy talk about no fap and how to avoid relapse, I almost missed out mentioning about it in the journal.

Do something nice can include just liking the video you found helpful. I don’t know why I was so stingy with my likes on videos in the past.

So I found Hamza Ahmed. This man clearly intends to help. He is the kind of person I would like to see more in my life, more in my youtube feed.

Lately, I have changed my opinion about Dr Rangan Chatterjee. Wait, no, Dr Rangam isn’t the person I though I developed ill-mannered perspectives on. I also not watched this video on ketogenesis through 36 hours of fasting because of wrong preconceived bias.

Despite how it pains me to put sleep before journaling, I really need to sleep. I really need to get a good sleep. I will battle against my current nature to get good sleep. I will actually shut down the laptop and go to bed. I will see you on the other side.

Plus, I think I did quite a bit of video journaling today. I have that to refer back to when I wake up. Not everything will be lost in sleep. Trust your video guy Jin. Go get some sleep, writer guy Jin.

I am awake, and it’s 2:00 pm. I tried putting myself to sleep at around 8:40 am, so that’s about 5:40 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I tried everything I can to get the right sleep, such as turning off the laptop.

The product definitely works, however, it seems like I have slept through the smart alarm that was supposed to wake me up at 12:30pm. The sleep report also didn’t seem to recognize my sleep.

I want to do two things done today: Edit all the clips from the past week to make a video, and set my new phone up, since I ended up unpacking it this morning before I went to sleep, I also want to write my best friend a preliminary review of the product. Oh wait, nevermind, I got the sleep report.

I fell asleep when, I don’t know, but I think I can check that with when I played that bee video. Anyway, it’s 8:00 pm right now. I pretty much spent the whole day sleeping. I didn’t intend for this second wave of sleep, but I think it is what I needed.

Let me catch up on some of the things that I didn’t do. First, shower, then the teeth cleaning.

I just went out for a cigarette, and honestly, I didn’t enjoy it as I was walking back and I realized this “pull’ in my stomach muscles.

After shower, I think I will work on initializing my new phone.

I am thinking of her; and I am wondering what she might be thinking of right now.

I just thought of a softer world.

I’m just realizing through my sleep depravedness I’ve been talking out a lot in English during my work yesterday. Many people were gone to other departments for support, so there weren’t that many people, but I am sure that some people probably heard and saw me talking to myself, and that probably came off looking weird, lol.

I am trying to initialize my new phone; but that cuts me off the internet. And without internet I can’t make backups. AND while I am currently concerned about backups, I realized that my pc is so cluttered with unfocused materials (like, mangas I downloaded) that I feel the need to really clean up.

I’m going offline for a bit to get the phone up and running. And after that is done, I am going to do a full cleanup.

Currently bumping into bits of problems here and there; but I am attempting to sync my previous phone to my current phone. This might take a while, so let me do the additional cleaning up.

And so I did; a bag of plastics and a whole bunch of boxes + 3 pizza boxes.

I’m quite aware of the idea of unsolicited help. Sometimes, doesn’t matter what your intention is, giving help not requested by someone could be harmful than good.

I just closed my eyes and I felt a bit smaller than my physical body. I’ve been getting this feeling sometimes and I wonder what this is all about.

Do I want to really go to Thailand after work? My true intention is I just wanted to go there for weed. But now I know the risk of getting caught at the airport, and I don’t know if it’s worth the risk.

I’m going to try meditating right now to introspect this feeling of feeling smaller than myself. Let me use the sleep aid device.

So I just woke up, once again. Lol, today is all about sleeping isn’t it? Anyway, I woke up and took out my laundry, good thing that ii didn’t forget that.

Ah it’s 3:35 am right now. Though this entry is short (I mean… all I did was sleep lol. But I’m so glad I did), it’s officially the next day so I’ll start a new journal entry. See you at 20240406!