Journal #3 – 3/31/2024

25 April 2024
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I guess this is the moment when my journal entries actually started taking in the form of proper journal entries. There are these random lines that pop up out of nowhere, but I think that’s the beauty of these journal entries. The train of thought, the chain of feelings that just come out when they have to. I may annotate and elaborate on them in future times. But I do not wish to erase them for the sake of consistency. I mean, time is just a construct while my thoughts and ideas are real. I choose the latter as the more important component of my entries.

I am posting this as a “deal” I made with my subconscious mind in an exchange to go out for a cigarette. That’s going to be illustrated on the April 25th journal entry. Long way from here, but it will be there!


I woke up at 4 am. Don’t specifically recall having any dreams. I woke up and the natural instinct to go out for a cigarette kicked in but I realized I was out. So I put on my coat (it’s end of march but how is it this cold, still?) to go out and buy a pack.

But then I realized this was an opportunity to take out a bag of trash that I am a little ashamed to throw out during the day time. I don’t like the feeling how having to take out the smelly trash during the day times when I don’t know who’s going to be on the elevator.

Yes, I could care less, and I should care less, but I’d hate to be the person with me on the elevator caring smelly garbage.

Since I am in the process of cleaning out my room, the bag was half full. So I took some time to gather more and fill up the bag. Then I took it out and threw it away on my way to the convenience store.

There are two convenience stores near my place. One is a tiny one owned by a young woman. If I were to own any physical store; I would like to operate it the way she does it. She’s very energetic and playful with customers; and maybe because of that her employees also are very tactful and kind. The shopping experience here is fundamentally different from any other convenience stores.

The other one, the one I went to just now, has this old guy running it. I don’t know if he’s the owner, but I don’t enjoy going there because of one reason. This man, when you open the door of the store, will greet you with a loud hello, and he’s also pretty decent when we do the checkout, but there’s this little dissonance because when the transaction is done, he doesn’t thank me, nor does he respond at all when I tell him “thank you”.

I actually wanted to address that today but there was a drunk girl behind me in the queue so today I just left; but I am curious as to why he does this. I am curious if he’s even aware of it. Today I chose to go there because the other store is currently closed because it’s going through remodeling. If that weren’t the case, I’d never go to this store just because of this man’s behavior.

Any case, I bought the pack along with some coffee and energy drinks. On my way back up on the flat I went to the smoking zone. As I was leaving, at 4:00am, a guy also came out to smoke. I gave him the extra coffee I got from the purchase (buy one get one free) just like I did with that employee at the convenience store yesterday. He thanked me, but his face was somewhat dumbfounded. I mean, I guess it was way too random of an act in a society where randomness is condemned upon.

Good deed, nevertheless, however, I don’t feel like it left any lasting impact.

I just called my mom. She’s on her way to the airport on the airport shuttle to go to Jeju island. A call that took seven years. Our call was interrupted because someone on the bus told her to turn off the call. She said she’ll call me back once she hits the airport.

She called me on the airplane before the departure. What more could I say? I told her that I love her, and she said “엄마랑 아빠는 네가 어떤 생각 하면서 사는 지 알어, 너두 우리가 무슨 생각 하는지 알지?”

I went out for a cigarette after a shower. In the morning, there’s an old lady always passing by. She walks and does exercises. I’ve lived here for over two years and I have not yet exchanged a single word. Today I went up to her and asked her if I can make a weird request. She had her hearing aids so she couldn’t hear well. But I managed to tell her “We’ve been seeing each other for so long and I felt it is so sad that we don’t get to even say hello each other. Can I from this day onwards say hello to you when I see you?”

Her face lit up brightly. Never had I imagined such a beautiful smile behind her monotonous mask that I’ve seen for over two years. Appparently she’s been living here for 17 years. Holy shit. I told her that I liked seeing her doing exercises in the morning.

I am now currently watching https://youtu.be/9VlvbpXwLJs?si=L_ld5YUbv1z9W17S by Simon Squibbb. I don’t know him, but he hooked me in with such a strong opener that I kept on watching.

Lesson one: Write down everything you like doing and get really good at the things you like doing; and the things don’t love doing, you need to outsource and not do them.

You have to let go of short term ego

Take your time

Mind map

Framework to find purpose and differentiate it from hobbies

The best thing that could happen to me is when my common denominator, my purpose grows to the point that it becomes inclusive of my hobbies

My social media account:

Only static contents

Jinslist Who I follow and who follows me matters

Affiliate links for charities

Free business: no pay, but follows the structure of an actual business

Just came back home after meeting with Joon.

He is currently going through some problems with his business. He is convinced that people don’t want to spend money on the sleeping product. He’s currently working with a friend of his on a dating app that only works in bars? He is currently frustrated because the founder, who hold 80% equity isn’t doing any work, and last night while they were drinking that dude apparently told him he will not be quitting his job to make the business happen.

I want to be the best thing that happened to you. Or at least become that one less thing wrong about your world. As you have been to me.

천원장사: get a load of 1천원 지폐. Address painpoints: you need to take out coins to bypass security. People don’t carry cash.

Ah but the machines do take cards. So I need to figure out if you can go through security while having a card on you.

Integrate with the 김밥장사. If she takes cash only, then maybe I should sell cash next to her.

The 20 Year Old Man-Child Epidemic by Cole Hastings. Apparently a video sponsored by Skillshare. Introduces their new “learning path” that ties series of courses together for a desired goal. I once had the similar idea revolving books. Like a guide designed from beginning to the end in order to elicit specific emotions. I thought this idea could spawn micro-communities who can come together to share and interact for they know who went through the same path must know what they went through. Ugh, hard to explain.

Nevertheless, the point is that, Skillshare, a company whose size dwarfs me in comparison, is going out of their way to test the foundation of my idea. Dude, talk to me about free product testing.

I am already free. I am, through the harsh work environment that looks like prison, am learning to squeeze the best value out of what remaining times of the day I get after work. This leads me to look forward to the times after work not for the mindless rest but for they are my enrichment times. This leads me to look forward eating healthy to conserve my energy for these meaningful times.